The Charles Press, Publishers
	Healing the Pain of Pet Loss Letters in Memoriam
	Edited by Kymberly Smith

Many people do not appreciate the grief that accompanies the loss of an animal friend. This kind of loss can have grief implications that are just as serious as those felt when a human friend dies. When a person dies, we send condolence cards, we say, “Is anything I can do to help?” We try to show our compassion: “I’m so sorry. He was such a wonderful person.” When a pet dies, however, a person’s grief is too often met by comments such as “Don't flip out, he was only a dog” or “You can always get another cat.”

Devastated by the loss of her cat and disturbed by the dismissive attitude that many people seemed to take toward her grief, Kymberly Smith decided to find out what other people had experienced when they lost a pet. Toward this end, she placed notices in two animal magazines (Dog Fancy and I Love Cats) asking readers to share their own stories of loss — their reactions to grief and how they did or did not cope with the emotions they experienced. While she expected to receive quite a few responses, she never anticipated the more than 400 letters she received over the next few months.

Healing the Pain of Pet Loss: Letters in Memoriam is a collection of 38 of these inspiring and often heart-wrenching letters. Representing a wide variety of grief experiences, this one-of-a-kind book takes an intimate look at the way we react to the loss of our animal friends and how others can help or hurt the healing process that follows such a loss. While there is no magic cure for getting over a loss or even adjusting to it, one surprisingly simple method that has helped many people is talking and listening to others who have experienced a similar incident — the people-helping-people dynamic known as self-help. In this sense, Healing the Pain of Pet Loss is a self-help group in a book and while, of course, there is not the verbal sharing that occurs when people are physically together, this book inspires a similar kind of interaction between the book reader and the letter writers. By reading another person’s story of loss, readers will be able to discover how others felt and reacted, as well as how others solved their problems and coped — or didn’t. With the companionship of the letter writers, readers will also feel that they are not alone in their grief experiences and that they are not abnormal or simply overreacting — something that many of the letters’ authors reported feeling.

Because issues of death and dying invariably raise questions about our purpose on earth and what occurs after life has ended, a special section has been included that discusses how different religions view animals' place in the world and in the afterlife. There is also an extremely helpful annotated listing of the best Internet resources dedicated to helping people who are grieving over the loss of an animal friend as well as an annotated bibliography of helpful books, a listing of telephone hotline numbers and places to contact for advice and assistance.

This special book will be a very comforting resource for everyone who has loved and lost an animal companion. It will also be an important resource for people who frequently interact with people who have experienced the loss of a pet such as veterinarians, teachers, psychologists, social workers and counselors.

REVIEW from Feline Practice Volume 27, No. 1 January/February, 1999

"This book is a collection of letters written by pet owners after the loss of a pet. Originally solicited as research material for the book she planned to write after the death of her own cat, these stores were received in response to an ad placed in several magazines for the pet-owning public. They include a wide range of species — from "Spot" the house mouse to iguanas, rabbits, cats, service dogs, and horsed, and span a wide range of time — from immediately after the loss to years later. Authors are adults, seniors, and children bonded with these companion animals. Many are recognizing the depth of their loss, while others tell of their surprise at how bonded they found themselves to be. They are grateful to be able to "talk to someone" about their loss and opportunity to share their story. Through the letters we see the variety of responses to pet loss, from guilt to a child's concern about responsibility and the impact on people's lives. An appendix gives information on different religious views of pet death and a list of helpful resources.

The book is intended for a public audience of pet lovers and owners, yet speaks to a greater audience. Veterinarians and staff will "recognize" many of their clients here, expressing thoughts they may not have been able to in a clinical setting. Included in the letters are references to veterinary experiences as people sought care for their pets, for acute or chronic illness to trauma and terminal conditions. Veterinary professionals will gain insight about the depth and importance of the human-animal bond, along with the importance of addressing the loss and grief that owners feel and the role this plays in building client loyalty. They will also be able to identify many of today's practice management challenges: state-of-the-art medical care, client service, problems with difficult clients and the need for sensitive client communications, all seen from the client's perspective.

Tributes to veterinarians feature clients thankful for care given with compassion and help with decision-making. Whether we agree or disagree with some of the feelings, decisions and interpretations, these authors offer significant perspective and insight for our profession as we strive to understand our clients as well as the medical needs of our patients. In a gentle format such as this compilation of poignant letters, we may come to better understand our clients and the role of the human-animal bond in building our practices.

This book meets its goal of telling true, unique and meaningful stories, and validating the human-animal bond, although it may be the most difficult read for its intended audience. I recommend it highly as extremely valuable reading for all members of the veterinary team. Keep a box of tissue close by!"

Tina Ellenbogen, DVM
Mobile Veterinary Services
Animal HomeCare & Hospice Services
Bothell, WA

 CLICK TO READ ONE OF THE LETTERS FROM THE BOOK....

190 pages. ISBN: 0-914783-79-3. Paper Edition Only. LIST PRICE: $18.95