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The Charles
Press, Publishers |
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Enduring Grief: True Stories of Personal Loss |
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| Edited by Florence Selder, PhD, RN, FAAN, et al. |
ABOUT THE BOOK
This is a book about human loss — something that everyone in the world faces at one time or another. Whether physical or psychological, significant loss may be caused by death or illness or by any other major change, tragedy or disaster. Healthcare professionals, for example, especially those who work directly with seriously ill and dying patients, are faced with potential losses every day. Severe losses can cause feelings of despair, loneliness, bitterness, helplessness and hopelessness. The experience of a particularly severe loss can throw a person into a period of critical transition and disruption which, if not dealt with or worked through, can sometimes last indefinitely. Some people never recover from a major loss, causing them to live the rest of their lives in misery. Other people are able to transform the loss into something positive, ultimately turning them into stronger and better people. Either way, losses can be debilitating and recovery takes enormous courage.
While there is no magic cure for getting over loss or even adjusting to it, one surprisingly simple method that has helped many people is talking and listening to others who have experienced a similar incident — the people-helping-people dynamic known as the self-help group. Enduring Grief: True Stories of Personal Loss is like a self-help group in a book — without question the first of its kind. It is a remarkable collection of 67 stories, each written by a different anonymous author, many of whom are nurses and other healthcare workers, about personal losses they have lived through. While of course there is not the verbal sharing that occurs when people are actually physically together, this book inspires a similar kind of dynamic between the reader and the storyteller. By reading another person's story of loss, readers will be able to discover how others felt and reacted to a loss and how they solved their problems and coped — or didn't. The theory here is that the best advice often comes from those who have been there and by reading these stories, readers will learn new or alternative ways to approach their own similar issues. With the companionship of the storytellers, readers will obtain a sense of belonging, reducing the alienation that is typical of loss and grief.
The stories are grouped into four general categories: the first concerns the overwhelming loss that is caused by death; the second contains stories by people who have been so overcome by loss that they have not yet or may never recover; the third contains stories by people who were actually empowered by a loss; and the fourth concerns other kinds of painful losses that occur in our lives, experiences that will many people will easily identify with. The losses described in all four categories weave a tapestry of human experiences that will give readers comfort, warmth and food for thought.
While many of the stories are written by nurses, physicians, social workers, psychotherapists and teachers, there are also stories written by secretaries, lawyers, a reporter, a policeman and a prison inmate. All of the storytellers have first-hand knowledge of loss and they share their stories with the hope that they might be able to help others
This book covers a lot of ground and will be invaluable to many different kinds of people in many different ways. Because one of the most overlooked areas of nursing is job-related stress, nurses and nursing administrators will welcome the many stories written by nurses and other caregivers. Psychiatrists, social workers and therapists, as well as teachers in these fields, who have long needed a book of case studies of this sort, can use the narratives in many creative ways. The book will also be excellent supplementary reading material for a variety of classes. And the general reader will have the companionship of an entire book full of different people with different experiences to learn from.
REVIEWS
From Nursing Oncology Forum (Vol. 25, No. 4)
"Throughout the ages, storytellers have related life experiences from one group to another. The authors of this book use the art of storytelling to impart perceptions and lessons learned from those who have experienced grief through personal loss or in caring for others. Nurses, therapists, social workers, psychologists, physicians, and lay people explore their feelings and share their insights based on these experiences.
Storytelling is therapeutic to the storyteller as well as for the listener or reader. In many of the experiences, the reader shares the writer’s feelings, emotions and grief. The storyteller often is “working out” personal feelings of loss. The book is organized according to the type of loss experienced, with many of the stories followed by a brief discussion and analysis on the manner in which the grief process was handled.
As heart wrenching as the experiences of parental grief were, the insights of those who cared for these people were extremely valuable. Several of the stories related experiences of parents in the emergency room. The nurses and physicians found it most therapeutic to allow loved ones private time with their deceased child, regardless of the condition of the body or face. Reading about how parents unconditionally accepted their child without being repulsed by outward appearances or mutilation was amazing. Healthcare professionals in the emergency room presented their personal experiences in these situations, sharing their understanding of the importance of allowing family members to confront and mourn their loss rather than seeking to protect them from the hurt. Faced with these difficult and emotional circumstances, nurses and other healthcare professionals can learn from the experiences of their colleagues and develop therapeutic approaches to facilitate the grief process in patients and families.
This book would be beneficial to any nurse or healthcare professional who deals with individuals and families coping with a loss. By sharing in the experiences of others, readers explore their own perceptions and feelings about death and loss. This book lends itself very well to facilitating discussion and could be incorporated into inservice education programs, nursing rounds, or classes for students in healthcare professions. Some stories include ethical dilemmas that make the reader examine his or her own personal beliefs and value systems in confronting these difficult situations.
The reader is drawn into each story and is enriched by emotions experienced, whether sadness, frustration, relief, or despair. As nurses, we care for so many types of patients that we may not understand reactions to illness or loss and the far-reaching effects on our lives. In sharing the experiences of others, we learn empathy and become more therapeutic in providing support and understanding. The brief discussion at the end of many of the stories summarizes the manner in which the loss was handed and the individual’s perceptions of its effectiveness.
In our increasingly technical healthcare environment, this book helps us revisit the essence of caring in the helping professions. Through shared experiences, we gain strength and a sense of connectedness to other human beings. This art of storytelling has been underused in the nursing profession. Every nurse should be familiar with this powerful therapeutic approach. This is an excellent book for experiencing and learning to appreciate the power of a story."
272 pages Paper Edition Only ISBN 0-914783-69-6 List Price: $25.95
